Hash Ass: Risa Mohammed - 752-4447 ArleneValdez, Ronald Mc Donald
Hash Ca$h: Lorin Paton – 622-5806 (O) Hash Booze: Nevie Boos – 637-3033 (H)
On-Sec: **Mumtaz Amarali - 625-3617 ext 29436 Hash Softies: Richard Marlay – 351-3694
Hare Line: Michelle Girod – 622-2204 (H)
Web Address: http://poshashhouse.tripod.com *email address: Justin.Henry@ghl.co.tt
**email address : firstname.lastname@example.org
The run at Flannegan town was great. The fact that Zam, carded to be one of the hares, was unavailable through injury no doubt had a positive influence on the hash. Apparently our spirits were a bit too high, and our party disturbed the wildlife around us and a complaint to the police was lodged (and surprisingly acknowledged). Thanks Pete for the kegs. Gifts like that are always fully appreciated.
Two Points: Hashers, I’ve received a lot of support this year and for that I’m grateful.
Just a couple points below
Hares, please be sure in the future to have garbage bags and be willing to lend a hand in the run-site cleanup. The committee will lend a hand, but are not solely responsible. Your cooperation will be greatly appreciated
Also, when appointed to scribe, please do not let this process be any longer than the tap on your shoulder to get your attention followed by the HM or Assistant HM uttering the phrase “You, Scribe!” I am not interested in your level of literacy, amount of time or willingness to scribe. You show up to runs that are always organized, with beers/food on sale for your convenience, and gladly read the trash of the previous week, therefore when asked to assist with this 1 task please comply immediately.
These points do not apply to the majority of you, but for 1 or 2 individuals that make things a bit more difficult than they have to be.
Welcome to the virgins!
New Shoes: Martin (a rather dubious accusation, but still taken in fine hashing form)
Leaving us soon: Sid and Manuela, we wish you well and see you guys again soon
Poofter: I tried to get Barbara Paton, I really did, but her behavior was impeccable! Famia for stealing the HM’s beer, despite the free drinks; Robert, a virgin, for choosing to do the run in a pair of Reef Sandals. I do believe he came in before Richard Hart though, despite the footwear; Dave Aitkenhead, for being interrupted while masturbating during the run, by Dave Morand and Lynette looking for a suitable place to fornicate. I’m unclear right now regarding why only Dave A was chosen to be penalized for this series of events; Sid & Manuela for sweetly kissing each other on the lips and interlocking their arms to take their going away down-downs; and the winner Richard Arrindel for generously donating a case of beer to the HHHMMM Anniversary Run, which had been expired since April, 2003. Luckily he was not forced to drink it!
Announcements: What do these things have in common? 6th Cruise payments, Passport Copies, Emergency Name and Contact Numbers. They’re all due now! No deposits by end of June and you are not cruising. It’s that simple! Your cruise balance should be up to $6,000 per person by end of June. Remaining balance is due at end of July.
FIRST EVER WORK CLOTHES MONDAY RUN – A live run with both the hares and runners wearing work clothes
Ladies Business Suits, Blouses, Work Skirts, Van Heusen shirts, Gabardine pants, ties, shirt jacks, shirt jack suits… (sneakers allowed)
Run Site: The Corner Bar,
September 1st is a public holiday and a HHHMMM Run Day... so we're thinking of something different
· Board Ferry in the morning
· Board Maxi to run start
· Live Run Ends at beach
· Board Ferry in evening
· Go Home
Drinks inclusive package works out to roughly $300, but need names of interested people ASAP if we're to stand any chance of blocking ferry tickets. Remember this is a long weekend... Get names to Martin, Keith or myself over the next two weeks....
RECEDING HARE LINE
RUN# DATE HARES SITE
695 June 28 Dhoti Toti run – CHALO CHALO
696 July 12 Big Dicks
697 July 26 Chris Mawer
698 Aug. 09 David Morand
699 Aug. 23 Brian Dookie
700 Sep. 06 Alan / Justin / Jerry
701 Sep. 20 Vin & Michelle
Sept. 27 – Oct 5 Hash Overseas – Cruise
702 Oct. 04 Marlon Newallo
703 Oct. 18 Simon & Natalie
704 Nov. 01 Martin Griffith & Ronald McDonald
705 Nov. 15 Dave Blunden & South Posse
706 Nov. 29 Susan Hale & Ghislain Agostini
707 Dec. 13 The Bimbos
708 Dec. 27
RUN #691 – Speyside Date : Friday 23, May 2008 Hares: Nevie, Dave Blunden, Victor, Puddy et al
Scribe: V.S Naipaul Jr.
Disclaimer: I wrote this trash all by myself.
After waking up with a terrible hangover and vague memories of drinking ten beers before the full moon run and taking tequila shots in Shades after, I thought to myself that I wasn’t going to have any beers before this Speyside run. After a hearty breakfast those good intentions were forgotten on reaching five feet of the cooler. Around , the serious hashers decided to leave the cooler and meet the bus for the long journey up to Speyside. As I waited in the bus I hoped that this run would be set better than the moonlight run where our esteemed Hash Master started off as a hare but somehow ended up finishing the run last.
The drive was long but scenic. We passed a number of
Not long into the run certain male hashers were seen stalking a tattoo even though the hunting of wild meat was not allowed around this time of year. Whether they actually caught anything is another story. After a twenty minute scramble in the forest, we were led to the road where the real downhill descent began. Some hashers purporting to be real athletes starting complaining about how running downhill hurts their knees. What a sad bunch!
For some reason, the road didn’t seem to be that long when we were driving up but as we were running down, it seemed to go on forever. Half way down the hill, two arrows pointing up a dirt side track were seen. We followed the arrows only to find out later that all the dirt tracks were false trails and the real trail was back out on the road. Again these false trails had no real point but they did manage to kill my motivation to do any more running. At this point, I just wished the end was near.
We were finally led off the road to a side trail. We passed a haunted house then went down to a dry river bed and then back to the road. At last, the ON IN was in sight at the bottom of the hill and hash finished on the lovely King’s Bay. We were all especially happy that Roger Hart had finished the run and did not get lost this time. Then again he did take extreme precautionary measures by dressing like a fluorescent traffic cone so he could be easily spotted in case he took a wrong turn.
Not to be outdone by his brother, Richard Hart was seen trying to impress Barcelona by telling her he owned half of Trinidad, a fleet of boats, two houses down the islands and that he was a master chef. Still he didn’t manage to impress her.
We waited about half an hour before the beers finally arrived at the beach. The hash master was demoted from performing the down down duties and instead Gerry was put in charge. Our HM was then proclaimed the ‘Drunken Master’ for his antics on the moonlight run and then made to pay for his drunkenness. Mike McGee had to do a down down for new shoes which belonged to someone else and were about seven years old. He seemed to enjoy it though since not one drop of beer was spilt.
The conspiracy to pick on the Paton family on this
After the beers ran out, the hashers got on the
buses for the long drive back to
Back on the road, the driver still did not bow to
the pressure to stop at a bar but instead he drove at full speed on a road with
more dangerous curves than Femia. By the grace of God, he did manage to get us
back to the hotel safe and sound. All in all, this was another great
Disclaimer: I wrote this trash all by myself.
PS Thanks mom.
An innovative move by HM Justin to use former Hash Masters to conduct down downs at the various runs, or was it simply a pre-meditated plan as he knew he would probably be too stoned to do it? Either way, it was thoroughly enjoyable. Yours truly officiated at Run # 691 on Friday set by The Brainless Morons…..I mean Nevie, Dave Blunden, Victor, Puddy et al at Speyside. A good A to B run ending at King’s Bay with a long drive from the hotel with no beer stop in sight. Eventually Mossy begged for a beer/pee stop and the driver obliged. Hashers arrived at the site complaining of feeling sick, some thinking they had just stepped off the T&T Spirit.
The one thing that didn’t go quite right was the late arrival of the beer. However, in the absence of the beer, those of us frolicking in the sea drank in the fine forms of the sexy Ms. Mahabeer as she entered the water, especially Dos, who was dribbling and foaming at the mouth.
The beer eventually
arrived and the hash hush called by Justin as he introduced me to some
objections from a few old farts in the crowd who wanted to know what I was
doing up there. To you, I say yuh mammy. First up was a re-christening of
Justin from HM to the Drunken Master aka Jackie Chan performed by Martin. Then
came the hares, followed by Victor who got the first new hat down down for his
monster cap which he was using as a pick up line on the women, asking them “you
want to see my monster?” To which the reply was inevitable – “he looks like he
is asleep…..or dead”. There were two new shoes awards, one to Mc Gee though his
shoes were not new but borrowed, it was determined that they were new on him.
Harold drank his first beer in a year for his new shoes – he was later seen
drinking scotch all weekend. Virgins
It was then on to the poofter. No surprise
here as all the usual suspects were called. First Forrest Gump for being the
only hasher to buckle up on the maxi, then doing double duty as he short cutted
on the on-in but still could not “win” the hash (this was to be repeated over
the course of the weekend) clearly a leading contender. Not to be outdone,
Tweety was overheard trying to impress Barcelona by telling her of his big
house on the hill, boat and car in Barbados, all of which of course belonged to
Roger. Victor was up again, this time for deserting the injured Peg Leg to bus
a tackle on Seema promising her an endless supply of monster for the weekend.
Next up, the hares, for leading the entire pack on a false trail, and last but
not least, the
It was a close affair after Victor got eliminated and a runoff was about to be done, when Hanif offered up his buddy Lorin who is in fact actually a closet fan. He was immediately called up and won hands down, starting a memorable weekend for the Patons that is likely to continue to the next run.
Another mainly uneventful drive back to Johnsons with no beer stop. We did manage to arrange a vomit stop for Janelle though and Dookie swears that that was the sexiest vomit he has ever seen!
A truly memorable weekend lacking only two
things – a pool and music, The former, we did not have, the latter, curtailed
due to the complaints of the residents of Room #32 who did not want any noise
or crowds in the vicinity of their room, despite the fact that they requested a
ground floor room in the all inclusive party block Ocean View section. The
bar/pool area has always been in this area, and as a result, the popular liming
area. In years gone by it was even in Randal & Christine’s veranda before
the days of the big cooler! DUHH – people, the
I do hope that future hash masters take note and act accordingly.
Justin, I’d like to echo the sentiments of the others by saying hats off to you and the Committee, for a well organized, great weekend.
PS: E.D. . Stumpy’s Hardware said you can return the plywood, 1 by 3’s and nails that you bought and get a refund since you did not use them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~On On to the Cruise!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RUN NO: 692
HARES: Justin, Tim, Eric, Ronald, Tosca + 2 locals
RUN SITE: Moriah,
Radio Talk Show Host: Good Morning caller – Do you think Dr. Rowley has committed political suicide?
Miss Maraval: No, I don’t think so. I think the old style politics of yesteryear is
changing to a more democratic, no-holds barred style. Politicians, party loyalists, activists and
lobbyists are speaking out more and letting their voices heard. The political landscape is changing and a new
paradigm is blowing through the country…
But I want to tell you about what happened to me on the Saturday Hash in
Now you know I am a member
of the Hash (the drinking club with a running problem or is it a running club
with a drinking problem?) anyway, we
I walked into my hotel room to get ready for the run and I bounced up with the cleaners in the room and one of them looked at me and said: ‘But eh, eh, you is de lady we see yesterday?” I was surprised but I answered “Yes….” Then she said: “Yes, is you self, yuh had yuh hair slick down and yuh was wearing a sexy pom-pom shorts- yuh was looking real good …” So of course I said “Yes, it was me…” But when they moved onto the porch I heard one of them say: “But look, dat woman dey is de one we talkin’ ‘bout!” They were talking about my neighbour in the next room and mistaking me for her….Oh well, it was nice to feel nice even though it only lasted 5 minutes…..
Next on to the bus destined for Moriah – no hoax calls to Justin on this trip – he caught on to the joke early o’clock because any and everyone was calling him anonymously trying a fix up a date (even men!). Famia in the meantime was thinking up of another hoax to pull on him… So the bus ride was pleasant in sunny weather, not as long as the day before and we arrived at the site set in a big quarry surrounded by mountains.. We start to get worried…. It was blazing sun and Hashers tried to find shade anywhere – behind buses, behind tall people like Justin and Sonja etc….The numerous Hares also added to our concerns.. They were sporting sponsored ‘Monster’ t-shirts (Monster is a new sports drink). After they gave their speeches we were glad to be off. Everybody spread out on the huge expanse of the quarry site… not a clue, not a trail to be found, until Christine got a hint from a hare and trudged up the hill we came from on the bus leading us in the right direction which was to the left into the bush and forest. If you like being a Boy Scout or hiking, well this Hash was for you… We jumped, skipped, slipped, struggled, puffed, plummeted , ducked, scrambled, limbo-ed, hurdled over bush, bramble, brush, bamboo, streams, up hill, down hill….whew! Hello! The young people were able but the old people like me were disabled…. I and the other shortcutters, made a very wise decision to shortcut at the end and reached back at the site hot, sweaty, thirsty and tired..We welcomed the bottled water given out by Sonja. We watched the other runners come in with Martin who was proud as punch that he came in 1st and he let everyone know it too! So back to the buses for a change of clothes and then drinks at the bar. The liming was lively with an added treat of corn soup being served up.
Justin passed the mantle on to Betty for the Hash Hush …Magee was a sight with his duct-taped running shoes (they were running on empty!) Hutchy getting plenty picong for getting stuck in a pineapple patch when he tried in vain to overtake or shortcut …..Victor holding on a bunch of pink flowers he picked on the run which matched his bright pink outfit….But when the Hares had to do their down’downs a strange thing happened, they all suddenly began busting out of their t’shirts just like ‘de Hulk” and all this was deliberate, much to the delight of the crowd... Poofter went to Alastair for asking his mother (me) to help him write up the Trash when Justin asked him to do it. Poor fella! Anyway he took it well just like Cassandra who drank from her filthy new shoes like a trooper…
Well, time to go back to the hotel and we were happy as pappy with the lively banter on the bus, but I happened to notice that when we passed certain areas there was no electricity… But the bad news was when we arrived back to the hotel – yes, you guessed it – no electricity..Anyways, after groping and fumbling around the room, lights finally returned about 20 minutes later.. then to dinner…
1) Who was the Hasher that brought his girlfriend over to
2) How do you think he and his girlfriend spent the night?
Tobago 2008 is behind us and it was great. Thanks to everyone that made it possible. The entire hash committee, the hares, ex hash masters and product suppliers really chipped in to make it a success; Thanks to every hasher that was there that lent a hand when it was needed, from helping pack the beer cooler to opening a beer for your hash master and most importantly, for just coming out to have fun, talk some rubbish and enjoy the weekend.
Looking forward to seeing you on the cruise.. 6th deposits due next month!! And balance Due by end of July. Every cent of this trip counts so please pay promptly to ensure prices remain more or less constant. Passport photocopies are also due urgently and please don’t forget the extra TT$225 if you haven’t paid it as yet!
Weekend Review Scribe: Refreshed
can I say about this year’s
for some minor adjustments to rooms, the usual water lime ensued at
began with a Yoga class by the good natured Cassandra. Several persons seemed to have alternative
planned itineraries, what is the TBG hash coming to: golfing, diving,
snorkeling, what next? Nevertheless, we
were packed into the buses very early to depart for our first run had by Victor,
Nevi, Puddy & Blunden. Along the way
Dos and Sema had to run like
morning – Yoga class with Cassandra again. More golfing, diving and now
The most significant event of the weekend was the well orchestrated removal of a door…room unknown…probably one of the best pranks I’ve seen in a while. Anyway, we’ll keep that in the shade as we danced the night away before returning to sail back early on Sunday morning. What a refreshing weekend! On On to the cruise! A well organized weekend, the H..oops…DM took advice not to reinvent the wheel. Great job!
Tobago 2008 Overview
By Tall Dark and Havesome
Ahhh… think of
The group was truly representative of POSHHH, a mottley crew.
Thursday morning most of the group journeyed across either by
plane or some by boat. The plane crew was very subdued or even apprehensive at
least until we landed in
This year apparently wives, fiancées and girlfriends handed out visas. From Hash Master right down to midwife Derek, got visas. Derek’s was quickly revoked as he had to return home to deliver a baby.
Thursday was a “do what you want day” and the HM and many others did what hashers do best, imbibe copious amounts of beer. A particular Ex HM imbibed so much that he was tackling females, and rumour has it, some males, hands down, or was he trying to get their pants down. The “Tiger Woods wannabees” went to knock the shit out of a white ball for approximately six hours.
During the day a little man, not a short man, was sent up Forest Gump’s behind to insert a GPS.
Night soon came and it was time for the night run, a first in
hare transplant. Justin who has hair was replaced by the more athletic Hart,
not the one with the GPS up his behind, who has some hair and so the run
continued and Justin came in last. Justin’s placing was as a result of his
giving in to the strong urge of wanting to give his phone number to everyone
that he met. At the end of the run a couple Ex HMs and a few Old farts decided
to give Justin his Hash name so the sobriquet Hash Drunken Master was
selected for him. Some one said we could also call him Jackie Chan who acted
the role of Drunken Master since his, Justin’s eyes get small when he gets
drunk. This too was another first. First HM to get severely intoxicated on the
Friday morning came and there was more drinking until the Maxis
arrived. The run was set by a bunch of accomplished and novice Felchers (see
Blunden for meaning) The run was a decent run and was also the unveiling of
Forest Gump’s fluorescent attire. More will be said about the run by another
scribe but suffice it to say that
Dinner was served and Dookie again did not get any coleslaw
because it was not part of the menu, so we were spared his tantrum at least for
this year and neither did he displace the vagrant who sleeps on the bench
Saturday again saw more drinking until maxi time. Some of the group went to the Triathlon to cheer on Dianne and Ms Barcelona. I am pleased to inform that Dianne and Ms Barcelona won the triathlon, congrats to them and their cycle partner. The run was set by ‘T_O_B_G_ F_CK_RS wanna buy a vowel” at least that is what their shirts which they eventually put on said. Prior to putting on their shirts they appeared topless and informed us that one hare named Peg Leg did not contribute much. I was a bit amused at the appropriateness of the name “Peg Leg” as it has certain pirate ring to it and the hares certainly did look pirates who had buried their chest.
More will be said about the run by another scribe. I must however
indicate that halfway through the run
Another first on the weekend was the Poofter shirt being monopolized by one family and rumour has it that the female side of the family will happily accept it next run to make it a hattrick. The future addition to the family I am sure will not be averse to wearing the shirt, after all she will soon be part of the family.
The return to Johnstons was a dark one as electricity was interrupted or in Trini vernacular “current went” A phone call to the man with the most current on the hash was made and it was not too long before electricity returned or “current come back”. Dinner however started serving by the light of the moon and a couple torchlights.
Saturday night was Shades night and a large contingent of young in
hart heart went out and partied. A male Hasher got lucky. The
boat crew left early as their boat was 8:00 am or something like that.
Sunday morning came and with reduced numbers, hashers started coming out, some in anticipation of the run to be set by the “Bat Ears Morocoy” who did not turn up until later the morning so the run did not come off. So the next on the agenda was the stag party and I am not talking beer. The party went on for at least five hours and many hashers were soused at the end. When the party moved from the sea to the garden area two female hashers were very merry and one was even giving lap dances to selected males. All of this going on while Numbnuts trying to earn brownie points was reading a book on a lounge chair with his wifey. The title of the book “The Hard Guy”.
Then the joke of the day was Numbnuts dialling a number and starting a conversation and only after not getting answers to his questions from the party on the other end his son then took the phone from him and said “Dad yuh talking to the voice mail”
It was then time to start heading to the airport to return to our homes, the end of another Tobago Hash weekend. Those of you who were not there, you missed a wonderful weekend, but you were not missed.
ü Zam slept in a different room every night. I wonder why?
ü Every day of the weekend a group had to Go Out to Lime on Fairways
ü Lap Dancing on Sunday
ü Disintegration of the Hares shirts on Saturday
ü Father Mike missing the run
ü The Reverends wife giving a hare a tongue lashing
ü Again a hasher put his meat on the grill and forgot what he put on.
ü Ash put beer in his barbecue sauce and said that is how he like to drink his beer
ü There was no skinny dipping as the chunky dunk group was larger than the skinny dip group.
ü Blunden’s discourse on the pros and cons of felching.
Topic of the weekend
The topic of the weekend was Viagra and its potency. The following question was asked.
If one Viagra gives you an erection for four hours what will half a Viagra give you?
Would it give you:
a) Half an erection for four hours.
b) A whole erection for two hours.
If you cut the Viagra horizontally and take the front half of the Viagra would you only have an erection on the front half of your manhood?
If you cut the Viagra horizontally and take the back half of the Viagra would you only have an erection on the back half of your manhood?
If you cut the Viagra vertically and take the left half of the Viagra would you only have an erection on the left half of your manhood?
If you cut the Viagra vertically and take the right half of the Viagra would you only have an erection on the right half of your manhood?
Ahhhhh so many questions. Anyone with the correct answers would get a subsidy on their cruise price and a week’s supply of Horny Goat weed.
HAVE A SUPER WEEK AHEAD!