Hash Ass: Risa Mohammed - 752-4447 ArleneValdez, Ronald Mc Donald
Hash Ca$h: Lorin Paton – 622-5806 (O) Hash Booze: Nevie Boos – 637-3033 (H)
On-Sec: **Mumtaz Amarali - 625-3617 ext 29436 Hash Softies: Richard Marlay – 351-3694
Hare Line: Michelle Girod – 622-2204 (H)
Web Address: http://poshashhouse.tripod.com *email address: Justin.Henry@ghl.co.tt
**email address : email@example.com
RUN: #681 RUN SITE: Tacarigua
HARES: Virgins with children SCRIBE: Writerz Block
Well, it’s hash 681 and I am finally returning to hashing
after my career-threatening injury (a twisted ankle) from last November’s
Nonetheless, it seemed to be a wonderful day to make a return. The sun shone magnificently in a cloudless sky and the afternoon breeze seemed to do little to temper the heat of the day. Luckily for me, I had been drinking steadily since with Justin, Adrian and Tim and I was therefore able to take advantage of the beers’ superb sun-dampening abilities such that I hardly noticed the afternoon’s heat.
Today’s run was set in Tacarigua and the site was a small field in the midst of a housing development with a forest in the background (through which the hash would no doubt take us). After about one and a half more beers (half an hour to the layperson), we all gathered for the hash welcome which included a warning that you need to be swimmer to traverse certain parts of the run. After storing my half drunk beer in a cooler, we were off.
Due to my somewhat inebriated condition, the earlier part of the hash was somewhat blurred, but there was definitely some running and walking involved before going past a church and into the woods. We soon came to a check and there I encountered a hasher – I don’t know his name – who it seemed spent his spare time raising and domesticating minotaurs since that was clearly what he had with him today. Unabashed, I ran past this fearsome beast with the air of assuredness that comes from consuming 7+ beers and continued onwards. I later discovered he was trying to pass this creature as a two year old rotweiler.
The run continued along an undulating path that made a dim show of my alcohol affected co-ordination. Thankfully my autopilot was engaged and I gracelessly made my way onwards. After some time I noticed the effects of the beers were wearing off (the sun was hot again) and was therefore able to gauge that we were about 25 – 30 minutes into the run. Apparently I was not the only one sobering up since I heard Justin enquire about the availability of beer on the trail. We were now running along an elevated path which afforded us a view of the river below and after coming to a check which left us temporarily mystified, Michael intervened and led us down a makeshift path to the river at last.
We heartily began navigating our way downstream in the refreshingly cold water that belied a rocky bed where the water varied in height from ankle deep to waist deep. Making my way down the riverbed with a skill honed from walking on the pavements of Port-of-Spain, I tripped and stumbled my along what was nonetheless turning out to be a rather enjoyable run. Soon we were out of the river, and we made our way uphill where we again ran along a scenic ridge. We soon came to a branch where Michael again pointed that only swimmers should go down the path to the river and showed us the alternate trail where women and children who could not swim/ men with p*ssies could continue.
Being in the possession of a pair of gonads, I fearlessly made my way down the path with absolute disregard for the fact that I was as good in the water as D.Dookie was with punctuality. Fortunately for me there was a rocky, but passable path right next to the pool so I was able to navigate my way around the water. I also took the opportunity to observe the hashmaster discover to his disappointment, that the pool contained water and not beers as he had clearly hoped – had this been the case, I doubt we would have ever seen him again.
As I made my way past the pool I heard a small commotion. Apparently, a somewhat well endowed female had managed to enter the pool only for her brain to belatedly inform her body that she did not know how to swim.
Her body, not taking this news very well, encouraged her arms and legs to flounder as haplessly as possible until her breasts and their attachments were rescued by a fleet of male hashers. Had she been alone the score would no doubt have finished 1- nil in favour of natural selection.
The run then continued along a trail which was littered with bamboo trees and other fauna, with Justin still holding out on finding a beer depot among the trees. We shortly made our way up an incline where there was another check. I was about to trot over to Tim and encourage him to consider upgrading his deodorant to lye or some other commercial-grade cleanser when I noticed that we were in the vicinity of the area’s sewer treatment plant. Not convinced, I still told him anyway.
We then continued along a short path which led to a hill from which we were treated to a check and a magnificent view of the district. The front pack good-naturedly ridiculed the hares for setting the run past this ‘shit’ lookout and began scouring the area for the continuation of the run. We then began making our way down a slope since it led in the direction of the site where we could already make out the short-cutters making their way in. Strangely enough, shouts of ‘on-back rang out and we again made our way to the top of the hill amidst some small confusion.
This matter was shortly resolved as Michael signaled to us that we were originally on the right course and we again made our way downhill past the ambiguous X and soon came across a small stream. After scrambling our way up a short ledge at the other side of the stream, a short run took us to on-in and after a few minutes the hash was over and I was finally able to address the Stag I left in the cooler earlier. All in all, this was a fantastic run.
Run 681 was great. A truly impressive run… There was a bit of everything; rivers, hills, tabernacles and not to mention the rescuing of drowning victims. I remember saying “Someone’s wife almost drowned back there”, and no less than three male hashers (who shall remain anonymous) simultaneously replied “I should have brought mine!”… Maybe the only thing the run missed was a beer stop or two!
Welcome Virgins: Patrick/Jade/Arafat/Ronald/Shanta/Yannick/Cassan/Joel/Kegan/Irwin
Poofter Nominations: Helen, the back-pack hare who got the back-pack lost and had to be rescued by the back-pack; Susan Hale, for mutilating the poofter t-shirt so that it looked more appealing when she wears it; David Dookie, for reaching to the hash on time.. he made the entire hash “jump” when he pulled up; Betty, asking the hares for a shower cap before going into the river, so she didn’t mess up her hairdo (what hairdo??); and the winner, Yannick (virgin) who completed the entire hash, including the swimming parts, on his cell phone explaining his whereabouts to his girlfriend.
Thanks go out to the hares and all those that helped and supported the hamburger drive. The action then spilled over into Lance’s Bar where a great time was had by all. Let’s keep organizing those bars hares!!
forget to organize your red dresses. Red Dress Run for Charity on
RUN: #682 RUN SITE: Port of
HARES: Loren and Betty SCRIBE: Tall Dark and Have Some
Carnival Saturday 2008, children’s mas on the
At around the HM suggested that we wait a bit as people were stuck in the traffic. I thought to myself not a bad suggestion, but I became suspicious as to who are these people or rather is there a particular person. My question was soon answered as I recognised the one on whom we waited.
At around Morand and D Dookie arrived and the run had not started. This was a first for them, arriving before the start of the run. At Boobs and Dewey Eyes set off and exactly 5 minutes and 30 seconds after the pack left.
As usual everybody knew where they went. “Ah sure they gone through the gardens”, Nah they gone through the tunnel to the savannah” “Nah they gone up by Lara house”
It really is amazing how hashers express their views with such conviction, they would all make credible witnesses.
The run headed toward Wildflower park and then
towards Ellerslie and then up the
The run then took on a familiar hue after we
passed the former HANBET residence. It
seems that the old Bets remembered the run her Honey set almost ten years ago
and followed it. As such we went through parts of
The Downs were had and the ASS HM got Poofter. This seems to be a new trend where the Ass Hm gets Poofter on a regular basis. Hmmmm
The Kaiso was supposed to start at but the traffic caused a delay. The judges were present on time and one, serious as a judge, was heard complaining about the late start. The Kaiso eventually started and the sound system was horrible for the first performer. At the end of his performance the MC asked if he should be given another chance with the adjusted sound system and the loud mouth ones shouted “yeh but not now bring him back last”. Sadly the judges only heard the part about last and he did not comeback on at the end, but instead came second to last. I believe
The show of itself was interesting and the standard was good. Like in e very other competition except Calypso Monarch, there is the dichotomy of Soca and Calypso. As such there were elements of both and some contestants really put some effort along the lines of the judging criteria. The lyrics from those that were in the calypso vain were an improvement on the previous years, while the ones in the soca vain were lyrically lacking but strong on melody, albeit borrowed or sampled. Here is a trick question, How much is a sample? The judges gave their decision and the announcements were made. Just a bit of advice to the Judges, the criteria for Calypso Judging and Soca judging are different.
In the end the competition was well received and I must say congrats to the winners Monarch – Big Mac, Road March – Fearsome 4000 or something like that and People’s Choice – Big Mac
The after competition entertainment was first of all a tribute to the Hahsers who have passed on, to the melody of Sparrow’s Memories. These Hashers are John Rudden, Kenneth ‘KC’ Collins, Peter Rees Watkins, Chris Mc Loughlin and Terrence Jagdeo.
Then came Colin Board ‘QPCC Monarch’ with “We Win” a political satire on the election results. He was then followed by the Hash Numero Uno Calypsonian the Mighty Mystery who told us about the events of 2007.
Justin’s Junk – Carnival Saturday Run
The Hash Kaiso came off to perfection and was everything we hoped for, unless of course we hoped to hear any good Kaisos. Despite wrapping up the Road March Title, it goes without saying that The Fearsome Foursome were robbed, and next year we’ll all be working on our six packs as that could be the only issue in my mind that got us penalized…
For the sake of the occasion, only a poofter was honored. Hash Ass Risa received no less than 3 nominations for the same thing. She neglected to assist her hash master for run # 681, and instead decided to assist a loose collection of hashers (Lil Jo, Zam) in the bar at Fatima Fete. The decision was almost too close to call, but Risa ended up winning it deservedly.
Congrats to Big Mac and the French Fries ft. the Horn Man and thanks to them as well as all the other contestants that took part in the competition. We are also grateful to the hares, Betty and Lorin, Caribs Rugby Club, Norman and Friends (The Band), Barbara, Arthur and Christine Tanker (our hard working judges) and Darin Marshall, (our esteemed, slightly intoxicated MC).
Special thanks must also go out to the behind the scenes crew of Lois, Arlene, Diane, Mumtaz, Risa, Ashe and Ronald for the decorations, tent and lighting and to the other hashers who chipped in a hand to get the stage and bar area set up and to the entire hash committee for making event possible. I’d also like to thank Tim for showing up, under pretence of rendering assistance, just in time to help finish the pizza that was purchased for the behind the scenes crew.
From St James/Woodbrook: turn up Serpentine road by Lord Kitchener's statue (Harvard Club)/ King George V Park and follow road (Maraval river on left) to no entry sign (Maxwell Phillips) Turn left then as above.
From West: Get onto Long
RECEDING HARE LINE
RUN # DATE HARES SITE
684 February 23 Rob & Liz (Red Dress Run)
685 March 8 Ronald Mc Donald, Martin Griffith and Victor
685 March 22 (easter weekend) Nevie
686 April 5 Derek De Freitas/Cyril
687 April 19 Mountain Goats La Cuevas
688 May 3 Betty and the OPP
689 May 17 Eric De Silva/Flakes
690 May 31 Nico
691 June 14 Andre Ache
692 June 28 Alan/Justin/Jerry