Master: Brian Dookie – 684-0310 Betty Agostini, Flash Boos
Hash Ass: Zameer Ali – 678-9172 Vaughn James, ArleneValdez
Hash Ca$h: Lorin Paton – 622-5806 (O) Hash Booze: Nevie Boos – 637-3033 (H)
On-Sec: Risa Mohammed* – 752-4447 (C) Hash Softies: Richard Marlay – 351-3694
Hare Line: Michelle Girod – 622-2204 (H)
Web Address: http://poshashhouse.tripod.com *email address: email@example.com
RUN: #646 RUN SITE: Manzanilla
SCRIBE: V. S. Naipaul HARES: Richard/Justin(x2)/Wahid/Gerry/Eric
On the Sunday after the Hash, I was lying in bed wondering why my head was hurting. NO, not the deep throbbing inside the skull, that is quite normal after most Hash events. This was on the surface, the scalp in fact, which was painful to touch. Then I remembered: Ah yes! David Moran landed on my head during the bus surfing. Oh, my gawd, did we do that? Was I part of that foolishness?!! Bus surfing is difficult to explain in a rational way. You throw people along the length of the bus, taking their clothes off, in the wilder versions of the sport. It sounds stupid, juvenile at best, and it is. It is unique to the Hash, which I suppose says something about the Hash and Hashers, but I am getting ahead of myself. Let’s go back to the beginning and recount the sordid details of what was a typical Hash day out……
The Organising skills of Acting HM came to the fore as the bus was ready to leave almost on time. It was oversubscribed, but a last in, first out policy worked well. As I looked around at my fellow passengers, I thought this should be a quiet trip. No Boos! No RandalL…Terrence was the only known trouble maker amongst those
present. I was wrong big time. The bus driver was a man with a mission. As we hurtled up the hard shoulder of the highway, I thought the driver wanted to make sure we arrived on time, but I was wrong again. The object of his mission became clear as we veered off the highway at U.W.I. At first I thought it was an unrequested beer stop (this being the case on a previous bus trip) but as we rear ended a little blue car the object of the driver’s
mission became clear. Lucky for the bus driver 24 witnesses came forward to say this blue car had maliciously reversed into the bus and we were off again surprisingly not stopping at the bar. We had barely gone a hundred yards when the bus driver thought : Look, I’m a big bus, that is only a little blue car, barely dented rear bumper, let me go back and really give him something to think about. A 3-point turn and back past the bar again without stopping, but the little blue car had buss it. A delay at the lights allowed the blue car to complete its getaway. The bus driver didn’t give up easy. We searched along the whole East West Corridor but to no avail. Along the P. B.R. behind the back of Arima – nothing. We even kidnapped a commuter along the P.B.R – let’s call her Patty Hearst. ‘No, I know nothing about the whereabouts of a little blue car’ as she was bundled into the bus.
Thankfully after Arima the driver gave up the chase and the compulsory stop at the Ponderosa allowed us to catch our breath.. Hear Barbara; “Lorin, you know if we don’t stop at the Ponderosa we will get bad luck…” Lorin: “Barbara, we already had all the bad luck for the day!” Patty Hearst was already showing signs of the Stockholm Syndrome, as she was seen drinking and fraternizing with her kidnappers.
The runsite, when we finally reached, was a wild and desolate place, in the middle of nowhere. A large crowd had assembled for what could only be a challenging run. So said, so done. Richard Marlay, for reasons not clearly understood, employed the services of Gerry as consultant on this run. Gerry, the proud author of a book ‘How to Cock up What Would have been a Good Run’ tried his best here. But the site won. Even an unnecessary loop over a vertical hill near the end could not spoil this one. Vaughn showed tremendous survival skills by opening coconuts with his bear hands. Otherwise it was your normal huff and puff run. The formal business out of the way, the Hash could resume doing what it does best….Drinking.
Unfortunately, the weather took a turn for the worse and it pissed down with rain. Even the offer of free beer could not keep hashers at the site and we all bust it to the First and Last Bar, a worthy establishment run by Richard’s family. By the time the bus finally headed back to P.O.S, it’s passengers were feeling no pain, and it wasn’t long before the Aforementioned bus surfing took place. Terrence was the instigator of course, but he needed help. Not a well known muscle man himself, the muscle in this instance was provided by Mike Hale, David Moran and yes, quiet man Ken Davies and every woman (except Sandy for some reason) was passed up and down the bus. Running out of suitable victims, they picked on yours truly. I proved to be heavier than they thought and I was dropped unceremoniously before reaching the back of the bus. That was the end of it was everyone was exhausted and thankfully we were at the Ponderarosa again, more drinking. The bus had to practically drive into the bar to get people to complete the final part of the journey back to the Squeeze and more drinking….
Postscript: Later that evening somewhere along the East West Corridor, Patty Hearst is talking to her mother.: “Mum, you are not going to believe this, but on the way to Arima this afternoon, I was kidnapped by these strange people in a red-band maxi taxi…” and she proceeded to tell her of the day’s goings on. “You’re right, dear, I don’t believe a word of it. It sounds like complete fantasy to me.” And so it was…… ON ON
HARES: Haniff/Chris Valdez/Darrin/Natalie
From KFC Maraval, travel along the
RECEDING HARE LINE
RUN # DATE HARES SITE
646 Nov 04 Richard Marlay Manzanilla
647 Nov 18 Simon Wescott Cumaca
648 Dec 02 Hash Christmas Run
649 Dec 16 David/Brian/Numbnuts + 1
650 Dec 30 Mike McGee
652 Jan 27 Keith Nieves
653 Feb 10 The PFO and Asha de Hasha
Feb 19/20 Carnival Days
654 Feb 24 Nevie
655 Mar 10 Numbnuts
656 Mar 24 Derek De Freitas
657 Apr 07 Barry Ferreira
658 Apr 21 Jimmy Fifi
659 May 05 Dianne/Ivan/Robert
660 May 19
661 Jun 09
662 Jun 25
Well by the time you read this, I really have no idea where I’ll be. Anyway ‘The Dooks and Run’ is back. All hail the real HM!! The last official act of this Pretend HM will be to hand over the ‘Ceremonial Ears’ to the HM.
He was looking very nervous when we spoke last Thursday, apparently some silly whisper of a fowl coup had reached his ears, (and you know dey doe miss nutten!) that had made him suspicious. Oh how heavy the head that wears the ears, oops I mean the crown. Anyway he will see that all will be well. That his people will not forsake him, and that he is really the one and only true HM. And I his humble servant was honoured to wear those pretend ears for two short hashes. Thank you REAL HM!
Welcome to the virgins:
Kent C, Kent B, yuh mudder’s Kent, Loretta, Rusty Bollocks,
Hi to Ken Davies with the
new shoes, and boo to Robert Bermudez for insubordination to the Pretend HM for
refusing to approach when beckoned with his new shoes. Some nonsense about them
not really being new. Who cares about reality. I am the Pretend HM. We can
pretend they were new! Anyway he will be reported to the Real HM and the
The Bus Ride was a blast. I presume the scribe will elaborate!
On On to all and to all a Good Hash!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
HO…HO…HO..!! - It’s that time again!! – The Hash Run and Christmas Party!
WHEN? - SAT. 2ND DEC.
BETTY & HANIFF’S -
COST? - $150.00 PER TICKET (ALL INCLUSIVE – FOOD & DRINKS)
NB: Tickets are available from this Saturday’s run (18th Nov.) from all committee members.