Run # 713

Run Site: Fondes Amandes

Scribe Johnny (Jack) rabbit

Hares: Susan (Hare) Hale, Ghislaine (Posh hair) Agostini, Betty (Chest hare) Agostini, Salma (Indian hare) Khan, Karen (Hare) Hale, Johnny (hare today) Williams & Anna (Grey hair) Demailiac

Date: 07 March 2009

After 5 gruelling weekends doing reckies for a good route, the POSH POSH team, comprising of one hare and 6 bunnies finally decided on the route for a perfect Hash, on a perfectly flat road with no water, hills, mud or bush (Ha ha – that’s what we told the stupid audience)

On Saturday morning at 08:00, when most sane people were still in bed, the dedicated team commenced setting the trail with tender loving care, using confetti and ecologically friendly flour (Cheap brand, not the nice white five roses).

Bridges were roped off and draped with caution tape as a safety measure to protect the delicate bodies of the hashers, “Swimmers” and “Non-Swimmers” signs were erected to ensure Hashers did not drown and pollute the St Anne’s water supply and then we hacked a path through the bush to ensure the hashers did not scratch their delicate skin or other body parts on all the nasty, rough, spiky bushes. Thinking only of the “well being” of the “pack” and at tremendous personal expense, the thoughtful POSH POSH team funded a “Hash Halt” The Hare and Bunnies managed to cart 4 cases of Carib, water, ice and ice-boxes up the side of the mountain, as they were concerned that their brother and sister Hashers might be a bit thirsty and in need to replenish body fluids (Not the exchange of body fluids – that comes later!)

At 16:00, like a well oiled machine, the harem of bunnies and sole hare(dressed immaculately in matching POSH red shirts and bow ties) called a “Hash Hush” and Susan explained what to look out for on the run (although nobody ever listens). “On On” was called and the pack began to ramble (saunter, chip, mosey) along the trail, with the same effort as a group of disabled geriatrics. Calls of “Come on ladies, this is a Hash, not a walk in the park”, seemed to spark the 2 or 3 brain cells into operation and the pack finally took off up the perfectly flat mountain and down into the perfectly dry, torrential river.

The first challenge was the waterfall, which the front runners and seasoned idiots took feet first, screaming and shouting like school children.

Down the river we went and after a few checks and false trails, we emerged back in the car park, where a lot of dummies assumed the run was finished. After a great deal of shouting abuse, involving mentions of close relatives and ancestors, the Hares managed to herd that pack away from the beer truck and back into the river for a short run downstream and back onto the main Fondes Amandes road.

Next, over the POSH POSH bridge and into the Nature Centre, which some idiot built on the steepest hill in Trinidad. Up we go and after getting ridiculously lost, find ourselves at the Hash Stop. 120 Carib’s disappear in 5 minutes and the “pissed-up”pack head up the wrong trail, convinced they are correct. The Hares take pity on a few “low mileage” backpackers and set them off on the correct trail. The “pissed-up”pack finally come haring back down the wrong route and we are on our way again. The north face of the Eiger is a walk in the park, when compared to the POSH hill. The pack emerge at the top sounding like 40 a day chain smokers and headed off along the ridge.

After a long “Betty Boobs” false trail, the pack finally figured the way down was on the fire break trail and down they went, forgetting that shale is “bust your ass”slippery. Back into civilisation, but somebody rotated the “Fondes Amamdes Ave” signpost, to point in the wrong direction (wonder who did that???). After checking their road maps and portable GPS units, the smart Pack figured they needed to head East, not South and were pleased to see a large ”ON IN” signed marked on the road. The smell of freshly poured Carib was getting stronger by the mile.

The pack arrived back in clumps and the “Sweeper Bunnies”, using their fluffy tails, did a good job in ensuring all the stragglers were off the mountain, or so we thought!!! One lost virgin, was at the back of the pack and did not realise she had to turn off the trail and head down the fire trail. After a pleasant stroll along Chancellor hill, crossing many “strange” large white X marks on the ground (wonder what they mean???) and an impromptu meeting with the Boogie man, she finally arrived at the top of Lady Chancellor road and hitched a ride in a car back to the Hash site.

The hares and bunnies were extremely pleased with this chance to run up the hill again to find the lost virgin, instead of sitting down and drinking long cold glasses of Carib at the perfectly chilled temperature of 3 degrees C.

After an excellent feed of Chicken Pilaf, and copious amounts of Carib, the evening ceremony was interrupted by our esteemed Hash Master, Risa asked the pack what they thought of the run. Despite the mixed comments, the POSH POSH team maintain it probably will be the best run of 2009 and so we are sticking with that.

The down down was drunk out of crystal champagne glasses (no expenses spared for the POSH POSH team).

The POSH POSH Hash Flash, managed to snap a few images on her Brownie Box camera, which will, hopefully be put on the web page.